two blogs in one sitting, so what!

I decided that I should just post another right now since it is very rare that I have internet, and even more rare that I have enough time on the internet to write a whole post. It's usually just an email and facebook check and then I have to leave.

It might seem like I am just having the best time ever here, which is somewhat true, but I would be lying to you all if I said it hasn't been hard. The truth is, I have had some very hard days here. Like I said in my last post I had a near melt down on my first day at the farm. I had just gotten used to life in Quito when we moved up to the farm. I was so excited about the opportunity to learn and work on the farm but at the same time I was so overwhelmed by how isolated we are and about how no one speaks English except for two people. For some reason I also felt somewhat unsafe there and very vulnerable, because we heard of some things getting stolen but thankfully our stuff has been fine. (And i keep reminding myself that it is just material possessions!) I was sooo homesick. Also, it really set in how long I am going to be away from all the people I love back home. Thinking about four months away from Nich completely devastated me, and I couldn't stop thinking about him and about home. I talked to my dad on the phone one of my first nights there and while I was holding back tears the whole time because I just missed him so much, it was also so encouraging and wonderful to talk to him. I talked to my mom and Nich the next night, and both of those conversations helped me so much as well. They were both so encouraging with their love and support. I had to wake up an hour before everyone the next morning to go get the milk from the stables for breakfast, and while I was sitting in the kitchen waiting for it to boil I just read my bible, journaled, and prayed. I was filled with so much peace from that time with the Lord. If there is anything that has been the most significant for me throughout my relationship with God, it is the peace He gives me. Or at least it has been very significant in my prayer life. God's peace truly does transcend all understanding and I could not live a day here without that peace. The rest of the day I felt so much better about being there, and felt more joy than I have felt here yet. I am so thankful for how faithful the Lord has been throughout this entire process and I am beyond glad that I live for a Savior that loves me and shows me that love each day. I can't believe I ever have phases in my life when I neglect prayer and time with Him, because there is truly nothing like it! Life is so empty without acknowledgement of His presence and His love.

A couple days after I had this turn around, the other volunteers and I went into town to get a couple things and use the internet. I got an email from Nich that seriously just made my whole day, week, life! :) He basically just went off about how proud he is of me, how amazing he thinks I am for doing all of this, and how he loves the person that I am. It means so much that the person who has seen some of the worst sides of me still loves me and is amazed by who I am. Even though I already knew how he felt about me, his words came at the perfect time and in the perfect way on this day. It made me even more motivated to keep doing what I am doing and to do it well. It means so much to me to have a boyfriend who loves me for exactly who I am. He encourages me to be the best that I possibly can and allows me to follow my dreams, even if it means being on an entirely different continent than him for four months. He is so intentional in asking how I am doing and what I need prayer for, and tells me exactly what he has been praying for me. Being here has made me love and appreciate him even more.

Tonight Ali and I decided to stay in Quito since our Visa registration process was so crazy and difficult and didn't get done until this evening, and we didn't want to take a bus all the way back to the hacienda at night. It is so nice here. We feel at home since this is where we stayed our first week and we have become friends with some of the staff. They washed re-washed our clothes for us, gave us free beer and wine (i'm legal here!), and we are actually able to sit in our beds and not feel like we are going to get hypothermia from the below freezing temperatures. The hacienda is sooo cold! I am really enjoying this night, and I'm hoping the people at the hacienda aren't freaking out about how we never came back.. ha.

Thank you to those of you who have sent me emails and words of encouragement, it means more than you know! I feel so loved and supported every time I receive emails or comments from you and it makes me so thankful for having you all in my life. luvzzz youuzz